It's a Minnie Party: Favors!

I spent several months planning for Paityn's birthday party, and I became a total Etsy addict.

In the end, it went fairly well, although I didn't do as much as I had pictured.  My husband is smack in the middle of a major software release at work, so I've been spending most evenings and weekends taking care of the girls myself.  This doesn't lend itself to doing lots of party prep.  But, as I work with my husband and really need him to finish the software so I can finish my testing of it, I kinda understood.

I'm going to break out all the different parts into several posts.  AND... I am super excited that one of my very favorite Etsy finds, Claudia Cupcake Lady, will be doing a giveaway of a set of cupcake toppers!! So stay tuned for that.

We were having a smallish party with several adult friends and two families whose daughters are Paityn's best friends.  Since I was only buying for four girls (I included Livie and set hers aside for when she is older), it meant there was a little bit more money to spend on purchasing nicer favors.

I took to Etsy and spent hours scouring for some unique favors.

I found these adorable Minnie bracelets from Stargazing Lily that I had customized with each girl's name.  They are so cute!  I've never seen anything like them in stores.  They came in little pink bags- perfect for favors.

I wanted something really unique and fun for the girls.  After a lot of Etsy searching, I came across The Laughy Giraffy.  They sell these cute little crayon rolls that are perfect for traveling or taking to dinner to pass time.  Since there's not much Paityn loves more than coloring, it was perfect.

But the Minnie roll they had wasn't quite right simply because the color did not match the party color scheme of pink and black.  Never fear!  The Laughy Giraffy loves custom orders!

The Laughy Giraffy can do large crayon rolls, which I purchased, that hold 16 crayons, or small rolls that hold 8 crayons.  The crayons were included.

Pink Minnie polka dots!

 
Early on in my planning, I fell in love with the black and white polka dot boxes I saw for holding favors.  I contacted several Etsy stores that sold them, but all refused to sell me such a small amount (I only needed four).  I was getting worried when I came across Just a Little Favor.  Jody sold me the exact number I needed, and they were so adorable!

The favors fit perfectly in the boxes.  In the bottom, I used the packaging that came with my order from Shop Sweet Lulu.  I love recycling!

I couldn't leave out the adults!  I had already purchased Minnie Mouse cookies from A Cookie Jar, but I was concerned because I was only a few weeks away from the party when I decided to use the cookies as favors plus have some on the table.  I knew I hadn't ordered enough.

Susan was so kind and added on another dozen to my order, which was a relief.  They came in little clear bags with ribbon, so all I did was repackage one of each size back into one of the bags and tied a tag I printed from my Minnie printables set.

Unfortunately, I didn't get a picture of my repackaging. I set one aside after the party to take a quick shot, but my daughter ate them before I could!

The cookies arrived beautifully packaged.  They were packed so carefully in bubble wrap that not a single one was broken.

Paityn was sooo impatient to sample one!

They were pronounced to be delicious.

Favors done!  Finally, at midnight on Friday night.

Up next, decorations.

Etsy stores mentioned in this post:

Stargazing Lily

The Laughy Giraffy

Just a Little Favor

A Cookie Jar

Photo Designz

Also:

Shop Sweet Lulu

Get an update with my after-party posts:

It's a Minnie Party: Decorations!
It's a Minnie Party: Outfits! 

An Adoptive Mother's Perspective on Adoption Destiny

A certain NY Times article caused quite a stir in the adoption world last week.  It was called "Adoption, Destiny, and Magical Thinking," and it basically discussed the very common saying among adoptive parents that they were meant to be connected with their adoptive child.

It certainly caused me to think very deeply about my own feelings regarding Livie's adoption.

From the time I was young, I wanted to adopt.  When we met Livie's first parents, without any intervention from an agency and through seemingly random ways, it did feel as though there were larger forces at play.

Do I believe that we were meant to be Livie's parents?  Yes, I do. 

That statement requires a lot of clarification, so please keep reading.  I'll try to explain the thoughts that have developed slowly for me, over the course of time since adopting Olivia seven months ago. 

Adoption is inherently sad.  It is full of grief and brokenness and hurt.  It shouldn't even exist, but it does.  Children should always remain with their parents, but sometimes they can't.  There are many different reasons this happens, from parents being unfit to a young woman feeling she has no other option to parents dying and leaving behind an orphaned child.

When we were first considering adoption, I was incredibly naive.  Livie's adoption happened so suddenly that I had no time to educate myself properly in the way that I have since then.  My views and feelings have changed since then, some drastically.

I see the adoption industry for what it is:  an incredibly flawed institution that requires serious examination and change.

But one thing has not changed: I believe Livie's first parents were meant to find us.

Why?  If I believe that adoption is flawed and that children should stay with their parents, why would I believe we were meant to adopt Livie?

Because I believe that we are the very best second choice for Livie.

Second choice. 

I don't believe God wanted Livie to be taken from her parents.  This breaking of a family was not part of His grand design.  I believe that the grief caused by adoption is often because we as a society have failed our children.

We have judgmental attitudes towards unwed mothers, especially young teens.  This attitude is especially pervasive in the Christian community, one of the greatest sources of adoption propaganda.  (Yes, propaganda.  Let's call a spade a spade.)  The primary cause of homeless teens is family conflicts, and although I found greatly varying statistics, certainly a percentage of homeless girls are kicked out of their homes for becoming pregnant.  It certainly was not unheard of in the Christian circles where I grew up.

Society in general, quite apart from religion, has harsh views of mothers on government assistance.  Unwed and young mothers are the usual target of welfare reform discussions and are frequently judged for getting pregnant or for keeping their children.  Frequently, they are viewed as a drain on our country's resources and a burden to the taxpayers.  They are mocked in reality shows.  They are viewed as lesser than older, married, and seemingly more stable mothers.

Adoption agencies and even popular thinking thrive on these ideas.  Pregnant mothers who fall into these categories are not frequently given the "You can do it!" speech.  Instead, they are told that if they love their child enough, they will give them up to people who are better able to care for them.  Sometimes, this is the right decision for the mother and child.  But I think that often, there is more we could do to help keep a family together.

There is so little support for young or financially struggling mothers.  What of the homeless girl who gets pregnant?  The college student who is raped?  The young professional with thousands of dollars in student loans feeling as if she is just not enough?  Are none of these women not capable of being wonderful mothers if given the right support structure?  If some of the thousands we pour into the adoption industry were diverted instead to family support, what would happen then?

I am not saying that any of this has anything to do with my daughter or her first parents, specifically.  Nor am I saying that all adoption is bad or that it isn't often necessary. 

These are simply thoughts that have developed for me in the months since adopting.  I don't have the answers.  But I feel that in general, the attitudes and failures I described contribute to the adoption of many children rather than the retention of families.

I do believe that Livie's first parents made the best choice they could given their particular set of personal circumstances (which are not necessarily defined here).  And yet, I still wish that I could  give my daughter her first family, whole and complete.  My heart aches for her.  I hurt for her first parents.  

I would not say that the events that lead to a mother being separated from her child are the divine hand of God. I think that in our case, God took what was broken and put it together into something different. 

I look at my little girls, and I cannot imagine my life without them.  Truthfully, my belief that we were meant to be Livie's parents is not so different from how I feel about Paityn, who is my biological daughter.  Dan and I have often discussed that we feel Paityn was sent to us because we would understand her.  I believe I am the best mommy she could have. 

But with Livie, there are other factors in feeling I was meant to be her mother.  Always, I will know that our family was created at the cost of something beautiful and precious and natural. 

My original simple statement: Yes, I believe we were meant to be Livie's parents... because of circumstances that prevented her from being with her first parents.

Though I might believe our meeting was too random to be chance, I do not seek to minimize the truth that Livie was born into another family and was never "meant" to be our daughter from the very first.  In my original, pre-adoption naivete and ignorance, I might have once felt some version of entitlement, but experience has taught me differently. 

While I know that I'm God's second choice as mother for my daughter, she will never be second choice for me.  I acknowledge the imperfect circumstances that brought Livie to us, accept that she may feel very differently about them than I, and realize that in a perfect world, I would not be the lucky one who gets to be her mother.  But here she is with me.  And I am blessed beyond measure to be allowed the gift of raising and loving her.

Because there's really nothing so sweet as....

... chubby baby legs....

 

 
... a beautiful face with chubby cheeks....

.... chubby little wrists with exploring hands....

....  and the surprised look when those chubby little legs give way under a baby just learning to stand on her own.

Don't worry.  Mama came to her rescue, and she was soon squirming out of my hug to stand on her own again.

So, I guess thank goodness for chubby little tushies to pad those falls.

Linking up with:

Friday Favorites

Give Me Your Best Shot

Foto Friday

 

Some little girl around here turned three last week

My little girl turned three last week.  I do believe it was the most bittersweet birthday yet, but then, I said that last year, too.

I'm incredibly thankful for these milestones.  We are blessed with healthy little girls who are smart and sweet and wonderfully full of life and laughter.

But my mama heart aches to see this time pass by so quickly.

Paityn reminds me so much of myself when I was little; she is always talking about when she is grown up and bigger.  I laugh and give her a knowing smile.

Don't be in such a hurry to grow up, lovey.  Being young is an incredible gift.  Take your time unwrapping it.

It's going to take a couple posts to cover all the birthday related photos.  Today, I'm sharing pictures from her actual birthday with just her dad and I and Livie.

At the unearthly hour of 6:00 am, Paityn was bouncing and ready to go.  I'd love to say that she was up early because of excitement, but no, she's usually up early.  We call 7:00 sleeping in around our house.  So you will have to excuse the poor lighting in these pictures.

I was also so far in between sleep and awake that I think I might have actually had my eyes closed for some of these pictures.

A friend at work who has a daughter a year older than Paityn frequently gifts us with hand-me-downs.  A few weeks ago, she brought in a Snow White dress her daughter had recently outgrown.  I wasn't sure if Paityn would like it or not, but she was ecstatic and has already worn it enough times to rip it playing, in true princess style. 

I found a matching Snow White dress from an Etsy store for her Bitty Twin doll, Sarah, and couldn't wait to give it to her.  The dress is perfectly made and truly beautiful.

She was slightly excited.

We went to the California Academy of Science in San Francisco for the afternoon.  It was our first visit, and we will definitely be going again.  Mostly because someone was a wee bit tired from her early wakeup call and wasn't really in a site-seeing mood.  She perked up when we went downstairs to the aquarium, though.

The adorable mouse ears I bought for her party but she wanted to wear them early.  They are also from an Etsy store.  She got so many compliments on them!

The Academy of Sciences has a grass roof and the windows are for the rainforest exhibit below.  It was, as usual for August, a frigid and foggy day.

Etsy stores from this post:

Minnie Mouse ears (size small, bubble gum pink bows) from Head 2 Toe Designs.  Livie has a matching set.

Snow White dress for Bitty Baby from Barbara's Classics. 

Guest Post: In which my best friend shares about me

My best friend, Jessica, and I have known each other practically our entire lives.  We grew up seven houses and one park driveway apart from each other, and we were inseparable.  We went to the same school, rode the same bus, and loved the same things.

Her family moved to Minnesota just before I turned fifteen, and it was devastating for both of us. We spent hours and hours on the phone on weekend nights, talking and laughing until the wee hours of the morning.  During the summers, she and I would spend the months at each others houses.

Where most friendships might fade, ours never has.  Jess knows me better than anyone else and always will. We may be separated by half a continent, but we still get sick at the same time, finish each others sentences, and always know exactly the right thing to say.

I hope you enjoy getting to know me better through her memories!

Jess and I as little girls.  Best friends always.

 

What is your earliest memory of me?   

Well, since I’ve known you since near infancy…  This is hard.  I think the earliest memory I have is of us coloring in our coloring books out on our red picnic table.  I left my coffee can of crayons out in the sun all day and they melted.  

Ah, yes, the red picnic table.  Mine is playing with you in your basement during neighborhood Bible study and taking turns getting into your play oven.  Not cooking in it, but actually climbing into it.

What is your favorite memory of our friendship?  

Playing “Heart and Soul” on the piano.

Dueting together.  Most likely Heart & Soul.

(How about the time we dissolved into such giggles at a Pioneer Girls' concert that we couldn't even play it?

Mine is all our trips to A&W in the summer, which was right outside our little neighborhood.  We'd scrape together some change and manage to get enough for lunch.  We'd sit in that booth for hours!  And then go play mini golf next door.)

At A&W! When I was pregnant and both of us were back visiting our hometown to see our other best friend's new baby.

 

You and I used to read each other’s stories when we were teenagers and offer opinions and critiques.  What’s your critique of my writing now?  

Soulful, potent, and entertaining.  

(Thank you so very much.)

Your family moved away when you were 15 and I was 14.  What would you say is the key to how we have still managed to maintain our friendship? 

Ultimately love, commitment and survival.  We both wanted, needed to be in each other’s lives because we are each other’s halves.  We’re soul mates.   (Definitely!  Soul mates ain't just for married folks!)

 

We have two other best friends we’ve known since kindergarten.  What is your favorite memory of the four of us?  

Swing dancing in the living room after watching “Wild Hearts Can’t Be Broken”.

You and I are almost more of a couple than Dan and I are.  So, Dating Game style, think fast and answer the following about me (easy-peasy, right?): 

Easy peasy.  Okay, here goes:

Favorite color.  Pink

Favorite food:  French fries

Favorite book: Jane Eyre

Place I’d choose to vacation if I could pick anywhere: Australia

Most embarrassing memory: getting run over by Jesse Herriot  (Yeah, that definitely ranks up there! Especially considering I landed with my skirt over my head.)

 

First crush: Jesse Herriot  (even after he ran me over)

 

Favorite summer memory: Barbies and the P.J.s under your tree (Yes!  The P.J.s!  Jess and I both went to different garage sales on the same day and bought the same stuffed flamingo and gave them the same name... without knowing the other had done the same.)

 

Biggest pet peeve: stupid people (I'd say more ignorant people- like racists or bigots, but they are stupid, so we'll call it the same.)

Paityn definitely takes after me (and her Aunt Jessie) in the imagination department.  I know I have mine, but what is your favorite thing that we pretended?  

Easy: our never-ending journey to The Great Valley, battling the Night Riders and warping into different worlds…as unicorn pegasuses.  

Auntie Jess with baby Paityn.

You and I grew up in the same neighborhood, went to summer camp together, attended the same school, rode at the same barn, babysat for the same children, and even lived together. But we’ve never worked together.  If we did, what kind of job would it be?  

It would definitely be on a horse ranch.  (Definitely! Perfect.)

What was I like as a little girl?  

Bossy.  Sure of yourself and what you deserved.  Sensitive.  Imaginative.  Stubborn.  You were an ungodly picky eater, but always had the best food at your house.  You were remarkable at memorization – songs, stories, quotes, et cetera.  You were a good leader, compassionate, and you really, really, really liked French fries.  Heh….”were”.  You still are and do.  

At the Golden Gate Bridge.  Jess and one of our other best friends (there's four of us) visited me after my miscarriage.

You love writing and have authored quite a few blogs.  What is your best advice to writers?  

Go with your instincts.  Anything creative requires a deeper sense of self and intuition.  Following manufactured formulas for “good” writing results in soulless script.  Write what you know.  Don’t underestimate simplicity. Writing is a craft that takes time, life experience, trial and error, and a lot of work.  

When we fail to count our blessings

Last week, Dan and I put in an offer on a house.  This was our third offer in the past six months.  Again, we lost out to significantly higher bids, tens of thousands over the asking price.  Buying a house in California is not fun.   

I'm ready to have a house.  I'm impatient to have a house.

I want a house.

So I was pretty upset.  And I indicated this to God.

I think a fairly accurate picture of how this indication went down would be to imagine me stomping my feet, crossing my arms, pouting my lips and shouting angrily, "It's NOT fair!"  Followed by a wee bit more stomping.

Paityn would be so proud of how well I can throw a tantrum.  It's truly spectacular.

I don't think God speaks to us in a great booming voice.  But He has always clearly spoken to me, usually in my mind when words just spring into being and I know they are not my own thoughts.

And this is what I heard, in a far gentler voice than my entitled rampage deserved.  Booming might have been more appropriate, but that's not really how it works.

It's humbling to be called out by the Creator of the world.

Images flashed quickly through my mind.

The homeless man who had stood on the corner as I drove past on my way to work.  His faithful dog next to him and a shopping cart full of his possessions off to the side as he dug through the trash looking for breakfast.

The poor, emaciated baby I saw on a blog talking about the famines in Africa and how the starving babies nurse constantly, desperately hoping for a drop of milk to abate their hunger. 

My dear friend's trip next week to a Romanian hospital orphanage she serves with her charity to bring basic supplies the babies would otherwise go without.

The true "not fair" in life.

I bowed my head in shame and repentance for my pettiness and quietly begged pardon.

So many of my blessings sprung suddenly to my mind.

Two healthy children and a wonderful husband.

Jobs, which enable us to put a roof over our children's heads (even if it is a rented one- yes, God uses sarcasm on me to great effect), food on their plates (or in their bottle, as the case may be), warms beds to sleep in.

Enough left over to provide abundantly with vacations and nice clothes and toys.

Freedom.  Safety.  My life.

I felt so small.  And petty.

It's easy to get wants confused with needs.  To get caught up in the dash for this or that.  It's not that it's wrong for me to want to buy a house.  But it is wrong to be so caught up in that desire that I am unable to recognize the greater blessings I already have in my life.  God asks us to count all our blessings, not just those we decide are worth it.  Had we gotten the house, I would have been very thankful.  When we didn't get it, God still expected me to be thankful.

Needs, not wants. 

It isn't a verse, but I think this stems from Biblical thought: true happiness is wanting what you already have.

What do I want?  A house, which is really just a place to call home.

As long as I have Dan, Paityn, and Olivia, whatever roof is over our heads is home.  So, I suppose that really, I already have exactly what I want.

Five Minute Friday - Here

Today, I'm honored to have one of my past Five Minute Friday posts shared over at Lisa-Jo's, the host of Five Minute Friday.  It is one that is particularly special and meaningful to me, especially this month, because it is when I first shared about the loss of our baby to miscarriage.  I grieved a lot last month, the four year anniversary of our loss, but now it is time to focus on the present.

Here...

Three years old is peeking around the corner.  

It feels like only yesterday I carried you inside me.  I remember the feel of you moving inside of me.  Feet and elbows trailing across my insides and making funny bumps.  Hiccups making my tummy bounce rhythmically. 

First cries.  First feeding.  Long nights.  My tears mixing with yours.  Oh, it was so overwhelming!  Hours spent holding and nursing you.  

Smiling.  Crawling.  Laughing.  Standing.  

And suddenly, before I could blink, your first year was behind us.

Walking.  First words.  More nursing.  Running.  Tiny arms wrapped around me as you slept.  Your first "I love you."

And then you were two.

I could look back forever at these days. Or I could think about the when you are old enough to take on longer trips, or get dressed by yourself.  I could find myself longing for just a little more independence because caring for a baby and a almost three year old is so tiring sometimes.

Instead, I will savor here.  This day.  This ordinary moment.  

Because I know how quickly these ordinary days tumble one after the other until another year has spilled out and can never be gathered up again.

When a mom becomes a party planner

Hi, my name is Tiffany, and I have an addiction to Etsy. 

I'm planning Paityn's Minnie Mouse themed third birthday.  It's going quite well, from my perspective, at least.  I think Dan is ready to check me into Etsy rehab.  I can't help it.  There are some seriously creative people on that site!

So far, I've accomplished most of what I listed when I first told you about the party.

My husband is drinking Starbucks drinks at an alarming rate.  I fear that the ingenious idea to use the cleaned containers as a substitute for more expensive glasses has created an addiction.  Our nanny loves them, too, so I am now responsible for getting two people hooked on Starbucks frappucino and  mocha coffee drinks.  Which means I am also now responsible for maintaining their supply.

Oy.

I'm still pretty satisfied, though.  Those glasses are going to be cute.

A couple weeks ago, my daughter went to a friend's birthday party at Chuck E Cheese.  I'm not much of a fan of The Cheese.  I will never forget how excited I was to go when I was little and how disappointed I was when I finally went to a party there.

The ball pit smells like feet.  The pizza tastes like cardboard.  The prizes require three hundred tickets you have to win by being skilled at video games, which I have never been.  Besides, they are all cheap, plastic junk.  Like a miniature yo-yo.  What are you supposed to do with a mini yo-yo?  The string is too small to actually yo (is that the right word?).

Anyway, Paityn was so excited when she came home.  "Mama, can we have my birthday party at Chuck E Cheese?"

I'm not going to lie.  I was seething.  Ungrateful little mini-me.

I tried to keep my tone from being too peevish, but I'm afraid I was fairly unsuccessful.  "No, you may not.  I'm planning you a really nice Minnie birthday.  Besides, Minnie's coming.  Don't you want Minnie to come?"

Reflective pause.

"She can come with us to Chuck E Cheese."

Grrr.

I told her that only Chuck E Cheese is allowed there.  They have to split the characters up and not have them all in the same place because they have a lot of kids to make happy.

She didn't really buy it.  I'm raising a child who is far too smart.  I really should be scared.

Instead, she asked Dan if we could go to Chuck E Cheese for his birthday.  He of course said yes.  Short of wearing a full face of makeup and a pink tutu to a Browns game, I don't think there's anything my husband would deny his girls.

It doesn't help that he's a giant kid who I know I'll have to drag whining out of the foot-smelling ball pit when it's time to go.

Back to my Etsy addiction.

I couldn't resist sharing some of my purchases and ideas so far.  I am sharing links to the Etsy stores, too.  I have had fantastic experiences with all the stores and highly recommend them.

1.  Ribbons purchased to make these cute topiaries.
2.  Cute clip in ears purchased for both girls (although now Paityn wants party hats... sigh.)
3.  Adorable invitations sent.
4.  Minnie dresses purchased for both girls.  (Perfect with the ears for our trips to Disneyland in September!)
5.   Fondant ears and bows purchased for cupcakes.  (Paityn's latest request is for banana cupcakes... from the girl who only eats the frosting.)
6.  Minnie inspired cookies for dessert and the adult party favors.

Get an update with my after-party posts:

It's a Minnie Party: Favors! 
It's a Minnie Party: Decorations!
It's a Minnie Party: Outfits!