Today's prompt: See...
When I look at you, I see your other mom and dad.
It's both precious and sad.
Precious because your other mom and I exchange texts and emails where I tell her what you are doing or send a picture. She responds with, "I do the same exact thing!" I love storing up these special connections to tell you; I share them with you even now, even when you don't understand my words.
When you bite your lower lip, I see your mom.
When you smile so easily and brightly, I see your dad.
They have left their mark on you, your parents. It fills my heart with joy that I am able to see this. That someday, you will be able to see this.
It's so beautiful that you are so like them.
You are so beautiful. Just like your parents. Beautiful inside and out.
But it also hurts my heart. Your loss is still so fresh, and my heart aches for you. In a perfect world, if I could, I would make your life whole and complete. I would give you back the family you so closely resemble. My love for you runs deeper than my own happiness.
I see the beauty that is adoption. The opening of hearts to love a child that is not bone of one's bone and flesh of one's flesh. It's pure love.
But the coin has a flip side. A darker side. I see the sadness that is adoption. The loss of an original family. The severing of a baby from her mother. Not a blessing or destiny. Just brokenness.
We see this. With the hearts of parents, we see clearly the path we will walk to help you with acceptance. While others may not understand, we know we will keep our hearts open and embrace all that makes you you.
Every visit, I take a picture of you three. I hold the words spoken in my heart to someday share with you. How you are like your mom. How you are like your dad. The words of love they say to you. I keep it all for you, my love.
For I see that someday, you will need these memories. You will need these connections. You will want your other parents. We see this, and we know. With open hearts, we fully embrace all that is adoption.
Happiness. Heartache.
And healing.
So beautifully done! I have a friend that is in the beginning process of adoption and these are wonderful words to consider. Often times it is hard to be so understanding of both sides. thank you for sharing. I found your blog via The Gypsy Mama :0)! Enjoy that gorgemous baby :0)!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful and touching.
ReplyDelete"My love for you runs deeper than my own happiness." WOW! I get this. I'm at the beginning of this journey and boy is it a new depth of love and sacrifice. Like you said, "Happiness. Heartache. And healing."
What a beautiful mama's heart you have. So complete. So beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing.
ReplyDeleteLivie is so blessed to have a mommy like you. Even if there is some brokenness, as you say, you help to make her life so much more complete.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post. That baby is so blessed and so loved.
ReplyDeleteAw! Beautiful post and how adorable is she! God bless you and yours!
ReplyDeleteyou're blog is adorable! Thanks for stopping by mine!
ReplyDeleteAww, this made me cry. We are hoping to pursue adoption eventually and yes -there are such extremes good and sad to it. Thank you for sharing this.
ReplyDeleteyou said it so perfectly. So glad you made this amazing decision to adopt, I see God's hand all over it :).
ReplyDeleteSuch a beautiful story well told. Thank you for sharing it with us. It's amazing to me the way you are actively noticing and storing memories for your adopted child. Such a selfless thing to do.
ReplyDeleteStopping by from SITS.
Beautiful! :D
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful person you are, Tiffany, and what an amazing love note to your child. I'm an adopted daughter, and though I sometimes wonder who I look like or resemble in demeanor, I never once consider someone else besides the two who raised me "mom" or "dad." Still, it's a huge gift you're giving her, and she will be grateful.
ReplyDeleteYour newest follower! :)
Thank you for your kind words- I can't express enough how much I appreciate thoughts from others who have traveled this adoption road already, on all sides.
ReplyDeleteWhat we want is to give Livie the opportunity to choose for herself how to define the relationship she wants with her first parents. We hope that by creating and forging a relationship with her first parents now, we will be giving her the foundation to make her own decisions from a place of knowing truth on all sides. Also, we believe it is helpful to aid in the healing for her first parents, and we have come to care a great deal for them.
It's so challenging to know what is the right choice for our children. Thank you for your words of encouragement!
Thank you! Best wishes to your friend, and my greatest recommendation (completely unasked for :) is to research and read from all sides- first parent, adoptee, and adoptive parents.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
ReplyDeleteThank you! She is certainly the recipient of lots and lots of love.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Mandi.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the compliment! :)
ReplyDeleteBest wishes to you in your adoption. I don't blog only about adoption, but I do so every few weeks, so please stop back in sometime.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Miranda.
ReplyDeleteI think when it comes to our children, we mothers tend to be selfless in general. :) As an adoptive mom, I think I'm just trying to actively notice things outside the normal realm of what a mother stores up in memories.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
ReplyDeleteAdoption always comes from loss. You and your daughter are so blessed to have that connection to her past! Beautiful writing!
ReplyDeleteThank you! Yes, we are so very blessed to have her first parents in her life and ours. I'm very grateful for that.
ReplyDelete