If one feels the need of something grand, something infinite, something that makes one feel aware of God, one need not go far to find it. I think that I see something deeper, more infinite, more eternal than the ocean in the expression of the eyes of a little baby when it wakes in the morning and coos or laughs because it sees the sun shining on its cradle.
~Vincent Van Gogh
Three months have passed by so very quickly.
I wish I could freeze time, but instead, I concentrate on committing the little details to memory.
The feel of your hand when it clasps my finger at night. It instantly calms you when you are tossing and turning. Just a hand to hold to know mama is there.
Your soft, fuzzy hair and how it tickles my chin when I hold you to burp because you toss your head from side to side in a frenzy to avoid from missing anything going on around you.
The sound of your laugh. Did ever a baby start chuckling as soon as you? If so, it couldn't have possibly been a sweeter sound than the giggle that gurgles up straight from your toes.
The chubbiness of your little legs, sturdily supporting your weight when you insist on standing. Baby wrinkles crease your thighs and your toes spread apart as you wiggle them excitedly.
The weight of you as you sleep deeply in my arms. Three months ago, you were featherlight. Now, your soft weight fills them and creates a heavy warmth against my chest.
The scent that drifts from you when I breathe deeply against your neck. No perfume was ever sweeter than the scent of a little baby. Formula and breastmilk and a sweet, indescribable aroma all your own. I love when I come to work and can smell you on my shirt.
Your sweet smile when I lay you down on your changing table. You stare intently at the baby in the mirror, and when mama's face pops into view, you grin with delight!
Your tiny hand resting against my breast when I nurse you. Oh, how bittersweet nursing you is! I wish it was enough to sustain you, but I'm thankful that you find such comfort in it even still. For there is nothing so sweet to me as my babies tucked against me, nursing, and finding security in mama's loving grasp.
These are the moments that make a lifetime of memories.
I have learned the value of sleepless nights and a baby constantly attached to my hip.
And I have learned how quickly these moments pass by, never to return.
So I concentrate, memorizing, ensuring these simple moments are seared into my heart. I want never to forget, never to have them fade. These moments that form some of the happiest of my life.