Top Ten Ways I'm Maintaining Sanity This Week

Top Ten Tuesday finds me starting this shortened work week already feeling frazzled and stressed.  Paityn was sick over the weekend, so I didn't get half of the work done that I had planned.  So, I'm starting my very packed work-week off already behind.

Thus... Top Ten Ways I'm Maintaining My Sanity This Week

10.  Blogging
I fully intended to skip today's post since I'm so busy.  But after a tense meeting, I decided to give myself ten minutes to blog.  Writing always makes me feel better.   It clears my head, gives me an outlet, and leaves me feeling as if I completed at least one thing during my day.


And as I am sticking to my ten minutes, you will have to forgive any errors in this rushed post.  I'm not sure to where I assign blame for the errors in my other more well-thought out posts, but I at least have a clear culprit for this one.


9.  Exercising
I already messed up on this one as I chose cuddling in bed with Paityn watching Handy Manny over working out this morning.  But, after all, tomorrow is another day.  (In a way, this item is two things since apparently channeling my inner Scarlett is also my chosen way of dealing this week.)


8.  Schwan's
My Schwan's guy, Jason, is quite possibly just after my husband as my favorite man on earth.  Every two weeks, he shows up at my door with frozen meals in hand (and a sticker for my daughter, making him quite possibly her favorite man after papa, too). I can literally throw these little containers into the oven when I go to put Paityn to bed, and, as if by magic, a delicious and hot meal is waiting for me when I come back out 38-42 minutes later.


I love my husband, but Jason and his deliveries are my hero this week.


7.  Multi-Tasking
I have always been an excellent multi-tasker, in my own humble opinion.  I can read a book, watch tv, and have a conversation with my husband, paying equal attention to all three.  It has always driven him crazy.  Which might be why I do it so often.


But after becoming a mom, it's like a mutant multi-tasking gene was triggered in me, a la X-men.  Any other moms experience this?  This morning, I managed to take a shower, actually blowdry my hair and not just toss it up into the mommy topknot, clean the bedroom, play name that color with Paityn, and answer multiple work emails all in 40 minutes.  


According to this name generator, if I was an X-Woman, my name would be Phoenix, and I would have the powers of telekinesis and telepathy.  


Coolio.


6. Chocolate
This seems contrary to the whole exercising thing, but I figure it should all balance out.


Besides, they say chocolate is good for you.  I'm pretty sure it's all women scientists who have done those studies.  Or at least funded them.  But, I'm gonna go with it.

5.  Tea
In copious amounts.  Mostly chamomile. 


Yes, I'm aware of the lameness of that statement.   But I'm not a coffee or soda drinker, and I'm nursing, so anything stronger is out of the question.


Let's pretend I'm British and maybe it will be a little less lame.


4. Reading
Even if it's only for a short time, reading always provides me with an escape from reality.  I love reading right before bed.  It clears my head of all the stress of the day and envelopes me in a whole other world.


This week's stress reliever: The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks.


3.  Prayer
This month, my theme is livin' on a prayer.  And I really am.  Not only is work crazy this week (actually, month), but Dan is leaving next week for two and a half weeks.  


So lots and lots of prayer. And then some more.


2.  Mom
I love my mom.  I can call her up every day and complain, moan, groan, rant, and rave.  And she listens.  I always feel so much better after I get off the phone.


If doctors could prescribe a half hour with my mom, so many of the world's ills would be cured.  I'm convinced of it.

1. Paityn and Dan
There's something about family that can melt away all the stress of a day.  Especially my daughter; she can make me forget a day instantly.  I treasure my family; they are the ultimate stress relief, the reason I get through my day, and my pure joy in life.



So, there it is... my plan for making it through this week!  If you see me for Five Minute Friday, you'll know I made it!

 

Five Minute Friday - On Forgetting

It's Friday again, and I'm glad for so many reasons!  One of them is because it means a return to Five Minute Friday.

If you have time, please head over to The Gypsy Mama to read more Five Minute Friday posts.

This week's prompt: On Forgetting...

I don't want to forget any moment of raising Paityn.  The happy times filled with smiles and laughter, the difficult times that can bring worry but end in relief, the quiet moments that touch my heart.

They always say to "try to remember this moment because you will forget."

And it's true.

While the momentous events are easy to recall, it's the small things that matter the most, and they can drift away from our memory so easily.  It's so easy to forget those long sleepless nights of nursing.  The days spent holding her endlessly.  The smell of her hair and the way it curled at the bottom when she was a newborn.  The feel of her little hand wrapped around my finger.    

Moms don't want to forget a single moment of our babies' lives, but the minutes all tend to blur and blend together and disappear so quickly.

So, this week, I have a challenge for my readers: hold on to the small moments.  Close your eyes for a brief second and commit the feel, the smell, the sight of a simple moment to your memory.  Store it away and bring it out on your next bad day.  And realize that it is in the small moments that a life is created and lived and made beautiful.

The day is done

The day has been filled with difficulties.  A bad hair day.  An accident on the way to work backing up the highway.  Multiple looming deadlines.  Demanding customers.  Irate managers.  An issues list for my week of customer testing getting longer, not shorter.  Equipment not working.  And the worst, no hot water for tea.

The work day stretches later than usual.  I finally get in my car and head home, tired and hungry.  My stomach is knotted from stress.  Letting go of the day's events is proving impossible.  I can hear my phone beeping in my purse, each beep bringing new emails with more issues.

Finally, home.  As the garage door opens in response to my impatient clicking, I note the messy garage and sigh.  I really need to get to that.  I scoop up the mail while contemplating checking my email.  Choosing procrastination, I open the door and step inside.

"Mama!"  A little girl launches herself into my arms.  Sturdy arms wrap around me and lips that taste of jello and banana kiss mine.  

She seems taller and somehow older than she did when I left her this morning.  In a glance, I take in the multiple hairbows in her hair,  mismatched clothes I know she must have picked, Mickey stickers on her hands, and strawberry stained fingers.  I smile.

In the time it takes to receive a hug and kiss, the day has melted away.  

The soul is healed by being with children.

~ Fyodor Dostoevsky

Wordless Wednesday - Fashionista at rest

After a week of no blogging due to immense work load (and Blogger being down...again! Boo, hiss!),  I'm happy to be back  just in time for another Wordless Wednesday!

Don't forget to check out some of the other Wordless Wednesday posts at Mom Start, 5 Minutes for Mom, and Wordless Wednesday!

Wordless Wednesday - What a difference a year makes!

Double dose of Wordless Wednesday this week with two pictures for the price of one!  

Mother's Day 2010

 Cliff House at Ocean Beach, San Francisco

 

Mother's Day 2011

 Cliff House at Ocean Beach, San Francisco

 
Please check out some of the other Wordless Wednesday posts at Mom Start, 5 Minutes for Mom, and Wordless Wednesday.


 

Top Ten Life Lessons I Learned From Pooh

I love Edward Bear.  You might be more familiar with his other name, Winnie-the-Pooh.  Yes, I’m well aware that I’m not exactly considered his target audience, but just ask my husband how much I love children’s books.   

Actually, don’t do that.  He’ll take that opportunity to tell you how if we started reading books to our daughter today, and just went straight through my her collection, we’d still be reading to her five years from now. 

I lack self-control when it comes to books.

But I digress.

Back to my adoration of Winnie-the-Pooh.  Who also lacks self-control.  Oh, Pooh, you and I are like two peas.  There will always be room in my pod for you.

Pooh may believe he’s a “bear of very little brain,” but in many ways, he’s far wiser than every adult I have ever known. 

As today is Top Ten Tuesday, I took the opportunity to indulge in my recently rekindled Pooh obsession (it’s justifiable, not insane- I have a toddler) and list Ten Life Lessons I Learned From Pooh.

10.  "When having a smackerel of something with a friend, don't eat so much that you get stuck in the doorway trying to get out."  


Or, don’t overstay your welcome.

9.  Never leave your friend alone in the woods.  There are woozles and heffalumps about.  


Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind, "Pooh!" he whispered.  "Yes, Piglet?"  "Nothing." said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. "I just wanted to be sure of you.”

8.  It doesn’t matter if someone is different than you; everyone is special. 


"Tigger is all right, really," said Pooh lazily. "Of course he is," said Christopher Robin. "Everybody is really," said Pooh. "That's what I think," said Pooh. "But I don't suppose I'm right," he said.  "Of course you are," said Christopher Robin. 

7.  “When late morning rolls around and you're feeling a bit out of sorts, don't worry; you're probably just a little eleven o'clockish.”  

Always feed a grouchy bear.  Or baby.  Or papa.

6. "Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day."  


Why rush the journey?  It goes by fast enough as it is.

5. “Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering.”  


Don’t always be so busy doing, doing, doing.

4.  Being book-smart isn’t everything.   

"You can't help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn't spell it right; but spelling isn't everything. There are days when spelling Tuesday simply doesn't count.” 

3.  “A bear, however hard he tries, grows tubby without exercise.”   

I must remind myself of this tomorrow when I have to drag myself out of bed to get yelled at by Jillian Michaels, who is not very Pooh-ish at all.

2.  “A little consideration, a little thought for others, makes all the difference.”  
 
I couldn’t have said it better myself.  I would like to post this over the entrance to Costco.

1.  “If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together. There is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart... I'll always be with you.”  

I whisper this to my daughter almost every night, and it’s the lesson I treasure the most from Pooh.  The presence of those who love us is always there, always with us, always showing more faith in us than we ever have in ourselves. 

  

All quotes from A.A. Milne's Winnie-the-Pooh and The House at Pooh Corner.

All pictures by E.H. Shepherd.

 

Beauty and the Beholder

 "Everything has its beauty, but not everyone can see it."

~ Confucius

Beauty.  

It’s all around us, and we learn to appreciate it from a young age.  We color beautiful pictures for our mothers.  We visit art museums to admire the works of Renior and Cezanne.  We admire the beauty of a rainbow after a storm, a bird taking flight across the sky, snow falling heavy on the mountains, a horse galloping through a golden field.

Beauty is so simple until it comes to human beings.  We complicate it.

On a mommy message board that I frequent, a topic was raised regarding beauty in the Western culture.  Several different viewpoints were shared on how to teach children, especially girls, about beauty.  

It turned out to difficult topic to handle, a tightrope where moms don’t know how to balance between too much and too little.  How can you tell your daughter she is beautiful, but at the same time, not focus on her beauty as it might cause her self-esteem issues down the road?  What feminine articles are acceptable, and what items are by products of a kyriarchy (which I admit was a new word for me)?

My daughter is beautiful.  And I love telling her so.  I look at her, and I see perfection personified in this little person who is half me and half Dan. I have never seen anything more beautiful than my little girl.  

She is more beautiful than the Hawaiian sunsets we watched on our honeymoon; she is more beautiful than the sound of the silence of the forest in the winter; she is more beautiful than Monet’s Water Lilies or Van Gogh’s Sunflowers.  

I don’t think I’m doing her harm by telling her the truth.

And for now, Paityn just smiles when I tell her she’s beautiful.  It’s the same word I use for the flowers she brings to me, or the giraffes we watch amble gracefully by at the zoo, or the moon we see when we lay stretched out on the grass in our backyard.

I do know that someday, probably around ten or twelve years from now, being beautiful will likely become very important to Paityn.  

She’ll scrutinize her face for flaws, and I have no doubt she will find them. We all do. She’ll find faults with her body, her hair, her eye color.  We all do.  She’ll become a teenager, with all the insecurities that hop on for an eight year crazy ride through middle, junior high and high school.  We all do.

By then, I hope that I will have taught her this: that beauty is found in everything.   

In nature.  In art.  In music. In her.  And in everyone around us.  

There are definitely people who are beautiful.  But the interesting thing about beauty is that there is no one perfect ideal of beauty.  Just as some prefer Beethoven to Rolling Stones, or pink instead of green, or the mountains instead of the beach, beauty is entirely in the eye of the beholder.  

I love both Beethoven and the Rolling stones, both pink and green, and both the mountains and the beach.  This is what I think we forget when looking at people.  

Some people are pink and some are green.  Some are Beethovens and some are Rolling Stones.  But they are all beautiful in different ways.  The truly discerning person is able to see beauty everywhere, and to appreciate it however it presents itself.

Beauty is not something I want to teach my daughter to ignore.  Instead, I want to teach her to see it in everyone around her, including herself.  

But while physical beauty can be appreciated, I hope to teach her that there are far more beautiful traits that make a person truly attractive:  A loving spirit.  A compassionate soul.  A caring heart.  A good sense of humor.  A lovely voice.  Welcoming arms.  A positive attitude.  A humble faith.  A steady self-confidence.

After all, even the most beautiful painting is only truly appreciated if the artist can capture the soul and spirit of the moment.  Beauty by itself is only surface deep, and is not long lasting.  

Real beauty attracts us because it has depth of character, something of real substance, to offer to us.  Something that we connect to on a deeper level than simple physical admiration.  

Beauty can be found in anything, but enduring beauty is found in the things and people that catch and hold our hearts.

Wordless Wednesday - Good to the last drop!

It's another Wordless Wednesday, and here's my picture that needs no words!

Please check out some of the other entries at Mom Start, 5 Minutes for Mom, The Adventures of Curly Tot, and Wordless Wednesday.

Five Minute Friday - Deep Breath

Friday the 13th and time to write my heart out in five minutes flat.  Make sure to head over to The Gypsy Mama for more on Five Minute Friday.

This week's thought: Deep Breath.

I take a deep breath and breathe in your smell.  You still smell faintly like a baby, but even with my eyes closed, my heart knows that you are not.

Deep breath as I cuddle your sleeping body close to me for a few more minutes, savoring the weight of your body in my arms.

Deep breath as I try not to wake you as I put you down.

Deep breath as I watch you roll onto your side, wondering if you will stay asleep.

Deep breath as you sigh and cuddle into the blanket.

Deep breath as I watch you, peaceful and small.  But not so small as you were a year ago.  Not so small as you were almost 21 months ago. Not so small... but still my baby.  Always my baby.

Deep breath as I remember that my due date was 21 months ago today.  

Deep breath as I hold back some tears and wish that I could rewind time and live it all over again.

Deep breath as I remind myself tomorrow is another day.  One in which to love you more, hug you more, and hold you more.

Deep breath as I kiss you softly, whisper loving words into your ears, and leave you to your dreams.

A Mother of Grace

A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.  

~Washington Irving

Growing up, I was in awe of my mother.

She worked full-time, kept our house immaculate,  and cooked wonderful dinners.  She was always awake long before anyone else, and often fell asleep on the couch in the evening, worn out from taking care of us.  She helped with homework, gave bubble baths, tucked me into bed with prayers and kisses, and never, ever forgot to tell me multiple times a day that she loved me.  

I have vivid memories of her infectious laughter, which was triggered often and by the simplest things.  Me making a face.  My little brother trying to carry our cat around upside down.  My sister sharing a funny story about her teacher.  My dad tickling my sister and I and chasing us around our tiny home, all of us shrieking with laughter, simultaneously screaming for him to stop and begging him to keep on. 

My mother has an aura about her that I envy, one which her mother also possessed.  People who meet her almost instantly are drawn to her.  She's that type of person.  There's something about her that you trust, instantly, and you feel comfortable and welcome. 

If I had to choose one word to describe my mother, it would be gracefulness.  Gracefulness is just a part of who she is, it is as innate to her as breathing.   She exudes it, and it encompasses everyone around her.  When I think of a person of grace, it encompasses so many characteristics with a single word: kindness, compassion, self-assurance, dignity, humbleness, faith.  That's my mother.

She offers hugs as freely as a cup of tea, and when she asks to pray for you, it may mean right then and there.  She cares that much.  She doesn't just say, "Oh, I'll pray for you," for a lack of anything better to say, with the best of intentions but forgetting the minute she walks away.  That's not her.  She will pray for that person and keep praying.  Her first concern is never for herself, but always for others and for her family, especially.

Which is why when she called me the summer of 2005 and told me that she had breast cancer, she expressed  concern that she would ruin my upcoming wedding with her doctor's recommended treatment schedule.  I will never forget that phone call- the memory is as fresh to me as if it happened just this morning. I can still hear the birds singing, smell the summer air, and feel the bench under me where I had collapsed  after I ignored her warning to sit down before she told me her news.

The threat of losing your mother is an awful thing, tremendous in its ability to render you completely paralyzed with fear, unable to draw a breath.  I felt just as I had when  I was six years old and became  separated from my parents in the toy store.   I had stood, filled with a horrible fear and loneliness.  I felt abandoned, forgotten, and I wondered what would happen to me.  Who would take care of me?  Tuck me in at night? Make me my lettuce and cheese sandwiches sliced diagonally?  I ran down the aisle and saw my parents around the corner, and I clung to them, relief washing over me in their secure presence.

It would be months until I would experience that feeling of  relief.  Months during which my mother was treated for breast cancer, and I gravitated between hope and fear.  My mother, of course, handled the cancer treatments with grace, dignity, and faith, surprising no one who knows my mother.  And when I was married, my mother was there with me, healthy and beautiful.  I think my husband will understand when I say that is my happiest memory of the day.

I still wonder if my mother knows how  truly amazing she is and how blessed I feel to be her daughter.  She inspires me every day to be the best mother I can be to my own daughter, and I find myself often trying to emulate her behaviors and words, actions and choices.  I feel that I have a long, long way to go.  But if I can be half the mother to my daughter that my mother is to me, then I feel I will have been successful.

Most of all the other beautiful things in life come by twos and threes, by dozens and hundreds.  Plenty of roses, stars, sunsets, rainbows, brothers and sisters, aunts and cousins, comrades and friends - but only one mother in the whole world.   

~Kate Douglas Wiggin

Happy Mother's Day to all my readers.  

May this day bring you all the blessings you deserve.

Five Minute Friday - Motherhood should come with...

Time to bare my soul all in the space of only five minutes!  Head over to The Gypsy Mama for more on Five Minute Friday.

This week's topic is to finish this statement:  Motherhood should come with...

Badges, just like they give out in Girl Scouts. With a pink sash on which to sew them. 

Some of the badges I'd give out would be:

• A badge for surviving the first month of breastfeeding.  Then another for surviving breastfeeding after teeth come in!

• One for making it through the first month of interrupted sleep, then another for each month following.  I'd have 20, amazingly enough.

• A really big, shiny badge for surviving the endless nights of teething.

• One for keeping your dinner down for that first explosive diaper.

• One in the shape of a stethoscope for getting through those panicky moment of baby's first sickness. 

• I don't think any badge could be large enough to reward a mother for enduring the pain of labor- it would take up the entire sash!

But then, I suppose every mother does have a badge, one that she wears every time she holds her child in her arms.  A child represents everything that is good in a mother- love, courage, patience,  strength, kindness, acceptance, understanding, long-suffering, compassion, selflessness.

My daughter is my badge of success.  She represents everything that is good in me, everything that I hope to leave behind in this world, and the very best I can possibly achieve.  There's no greater reward or honor I could receive that would be better than her happiness.

Of Love and Hugs

“I will not play tug o' war. I'd rather play hug o' war. Where everyone hugs instead of tugs, Where everyone giggles and rolls on the rug, Where everyone kisses, and everyone grins, and everyone cuddles, and everyone wins.” 
 ~ Shel Silverstein

For about the first year of your child's life, as a parent, you just accept that you aren't going to get hugs, kisses, and "I love you's."  

After all, she's still realizing she can move her hands and trying to figure out how to sit up, stand, walk and all that other kind of important stuff.  Returning affection is secondary to learning the basics.

You simply accept that when you hold her, and she stops crying, she is finding comfort and security in you, and that's enough for now.  You know someday, she'll tell you she loves you.  It's almost like in a relationship, when one person tells the other person "I love you" first.  There's the expectation that, at some point, the other person will be ready to say it back to you.  

But, for now, you patiently wait.

When you love someone, it bubbles up inside of you, impossible to hold back.  I probably tell Paityn that I love her a dozen times a day.  I can never get out of the house without at least half a dozen kisses and twice as many hugs. 

For a while, the kisses and hugs were simply accepted.  Eventually, they were returned.  Several months ago, she started a sign for love, which was to cross her arms over herself like a hug.  Then, it was combined with "Ove" (love).  I'm sure the "L" will come later, but for now, it's almost more adorable this way.

I was getting Paityn ready for bed last night, and the last part of our routine is prayers, hug and a kiss, then nurse to sleep.  She said her "Ah-men," then jumped into me, wrapping her chubby baby arms around my neck, squeezing tightly.  Then she leaned her head back, arms still tightly wrapped around me, and said, "Ove," and gave me kiss after kiss.  Then she put her head down on my shoulder, and we sat there, quietly, wrapped up in each other. 

Mother's Day is just around the corner, but I feel like I have already received my gift. 

Love is the most precious gift a child can offer; it's beautiful and innocent, given freely and from the purest of hearts.  It's not easy being a parent, but there is no more emotionally satisfying job in the world. 

I know that about eleven or twelve years from now, I probably won't always be getting these declarations of love.  I'm sure I'll be getting a few different declarations.  

So, I store them away in my heart now, and I know that someday, when she's angry with me, it will be the same as when she was a baby:  I know she'll love me, she just won't be able to say it.  But I'll say it to her, again and again and again.  

I love you, Paityn.

Wordless Wednesday - Memories

Please check out the other posts at: Mom Start, 5 Minutes for Mom, The Adventures of Curly Tot, and Wordless Wednesday.

 

Top Ten Things I Have Learned From My Daughter This Week

It's that time of the week again: time to pull a Letterman and come up with my own top ten.  This week, I went with my husband's suggestion.

Top Ten Things I Have Learned From My Daughter This Week

(By the way, I prefer Dave's method of counting down from 10.  It feels more climactic when you finally get to number 1.  Wait, you mean you really aren't breathless in anticipation of what my number 1 entry will be?)

10. The simplest things can be endlessly entertaining.  It's all what you make of it.

 9.  Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

8.  Tutus are the best little girl fashion trend since jelly shoes.

"Little girl fashion trend."  Who am I kidding?  I totally want one.

7.  Dinner is better with friends to share it.

  

 6.  Always offer your guests a drink.

 

Yes, there are an inordinate number of Paityn and Moses Bear pictures in this list, but he had a habit of showing up in almost every picture this week.  He's a bit of a camera hog.

5.  You never know when you might make a friend, so keep your eyes open for possibilities. 

4.  You can always count on your papa to be there when you need a hand.  Or a bounce.

3.  Hats are not just for royal weddings.

2. It's always fun when Grandma comes to visit.

1. There's nobody else quite like mama when you're tired of the world.